Key Factors to Keep in Mind for Healthy Relationships.
In this article, I am going to share some great tips on how to build a healthy relationship with yourself and with people around you. The key to building strong relationships with people is to first understand yourself and your expectations from the people you are dealing with. Let’s talk about a few ways in which we can achieve this goal.
How to develop effective communication skills in your relationships.
For any relationship to sustain, there must be effective communication. I often talk to people, who tell me that they hardly have any communication with their partners or a family member, or even a friend. When asked “Why”? Most people tell me that either, they can’t express themselves too well, or they feel that, no matter what they say, their partners will never understand them, or they feel as though they are never heard. What are you willing to change, for better communication?
I will show you two ways to handle this. Firstly, take responsibility for getting your needs met through communication. Secondly, become more aware and open to express how you feel, but do not expect people to always agree with you. Most people fail in establishing good communication skills because, they feel that they are only made to be good listeners but not talkers. “LISTEN MORE TALK LESS”-A good listening skill; though, do relationships last on a one-way track? No! Effective communication only happens when each person holds the bar from their side, to create balance and understanding to sustain a relationship. Remember the goal is getting your needs met, your voice heard, understand the importance of that person in your life, and keep nurturing the relationship in a healthy way.
How to deal with sensitive people in your relationships.
These days we are very quick to label people as “sensitive”, and most times people themselves agree to be overly “sensitive”. Why? In my opinion, sensitive people are warm-hearted people. They are overly emotional at times. But these people develop great bonds with others. They become great caregivers, providers, partners, and loyal friends. People, who you can count on. A lot of what we do in our adult life is influenced by our childhood and the kind of adults who were around us while growing up. I have always found that, children who grew up in a nurturing, warm, and loving family environment have a sensitive side to them versus children who grew up in a household, where parents were not emotionally available and, most times did not allow their children to express their feelings at free will.
Kindness – has a loving quality to it. When dealing with sensitive people, practicing kindness is the most important. Remember, “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” After all, it’s all about perception. You may have the best intention, but if you are hurtful with your words, then you will never develop a meaningful relationship with these people. They will almost always either run away from you or feel threatened by you. I had to study this matter deeply, because, I am myself a super sensitive person, though I am forever striving to better myself especially when it comes to my expectations of other people. I have come to learn that not expecting others to feel the same way I do and also being more considerate of their feelings and not only mine is the best way of not getting hurt.
How to deal with your own emotional needs in a relationship?
Do you ever remember a time when you felt misunderstood? Or even worse, someone you deeply care for didn’t even try to understand a thing you were trying to say?
Very often we hear people repeatedly say things like “Stop judging me on everything I say and do”. Or “Why are you judging me”? There are times when people become so critical of themselves and tend to think that others will judge them no matter what they say or do. These people develop a thinking pattern, in which they feel too critical of themselves. When our emotional needs are not fed in our relationships, we tend to become too critical of ourselves. If you have a partner, a friend, parent, or a sibling who constantly puts you down. They make you feel unworthy, undeserving, criticize your every act or show no appreciation for all that you do. You become too critical and put your guards up to protect your emotions and start to feel as if the whole world is judging you. The root of this problem is, your underlying judgment of yourself, which you project on others. So, stop judging yourself first, then others will stop judging you. You need not seek validation from others. You are worthy and deserving.
Empathy – is the foundation for any meaningful relationship. When someone empathizes with you, it gives you the sense that your inner being truly exists for that person. In my opinion, empathy is respectful and soothing, and it usually evokes goodwill in return. Say you are in a marriage and your partner is not emotionally nurturing, you can try to “grow” the relationship on your own by paying attention to when your partner expresses caring through their actions and soaking that into your heart, and nurturing your emotions.
The art of giving – Have you ever been in that moment when you were able to give freely without any restrictions? How did you feel? Did you feel alive, happy, and fulfilled? My greatest teaching to you is to give what you want back from others. If you want to be loved, then give love. If you want a nurturing relationship then nurture your inner being. Don’t restrict your relationships to an “equal” give and take. “If you care for me, I will care for you”. If you love me, I will love you back”. No! Instead immerse yourself into giving without expectations. I have come to learn that emotional satisfaction is something that comes from within. Don’t we all want to be loved the way we love? Yes, we do. But, when we force an equal give and take in our relationship, we are doing business with our relationships and not nurturing them. So, the art lies in giving without expecting.
I hope you are finding these tips of some help to you. I shall continue writing more on this topic of “Relationships.” In my next article I will share my views on how to limit your expectations in a relationship? Stay in touch to read more…